I am not a princess.
Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast. I would catch it.
Do not call me a thesaurus.
Why would I want to put my finger on his throat?
Oh, I wasn’t listening. I was thinking about something else.
I like this knife. I’m keeping it.
I wonder if cops ever get annoyed at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
journalism at its finest
when you accidentally start watching a crime show and can’t get yourself to switch the channel because now you wanna know who fucking did it
my sister just tried to ask me if i wanted to go to bed but instead it came out “Do you need to use the sleep?”
and then she just kinda looked really horrified at herself and whispered
"Maybe i need to use the sleep"